One Ed or Another
by Easymac120
Summary: The Kankers have stolen the Eds' money yet again and Lee stores it in her locker, which is now key-locked. The Eds are determined to obtain the key, one way or another. Will they succeed? My first fanfic COMPLETE!


Thanks for all the reviews, people! I appreciate and and you guys rock!

* * *

Its another day at Peach Creek Jr. High and Ed, Edd, Eddy, and the other cul-de-sac kids are out in the school yard. Kevin, Rolf, Sarah and Nazz are playing dodge ball. Meanwhile, Jimmy and Jonny walk towards the Eds' latest scam, a red tent at the edge of the schoolyard. Jimmy rings the bell on the table inside, and Eddy pops up in response to the customers.

"Welcome to The Eds' Flip-A-Bowl 25!" Eddy enthusiastically welcomes."Pay a mere 25 cents to try your luck and win a prize! And if at first you don't succeed, you can always pay and try again!"

"Did you hear that, Plank? We could win a prize!" says an excited Jonny.

"I'm feelin lucky, Eddy! Let's do this!" Jimmy says as he pays up. Jonny pays for himself and Plank.

"Alright boys, bring in the goods!" Eddy calls out to Ed and Double-D.

Double-D comes in with a stack of bowls, and Ed comes with a sac of goodies.

"Fresh from the junk yard, chief!" Ed proclaims, and he spills it on the table. Among the prizes are: a baseball, a mini-grail, a loopy straw, a feather pen, a crystal ball, a plastic diamond necklace, a bracelet, and an old camera. Jimmy's and Jonny's eyes glitter at the prizes.

"It is time to test your instinct, your memory, and of course your eyesight!" Double-D tells Jimmy and Jonny as he covers the prizes with the bowls and shuffles them into 5 rows of 5. "Let the flipping commence!" and the game begins.

"I always wanted my own holy grail, guys!" Jimmy rants as he flips an empty bowl, much to his dismay. "Oh, darn it..."

Jimmy drops more money into Eddy's jar to try again. Jonny wins a baseball with a loud "Whoo!", but repays for Plank.

"Eddy, you do realize these "prizes" all came from the junkyard, right? Jimmy and Jonny are sure to demand refunds eventually." warns Double-D.

"Who cares?' says Eddy as Jimmy and Jonny continue to pay and flip bowls. "Their determination is making us RICH!!"

Jimmy eventually gets the grail, and Jonny wins the plastic diamond necklace for Plank. "See, buddy? I told ya you'll get this!"

A voice comes from just outside the tent..."Coolio, guys!" says May Kanker, peering through the entrance.

"Yo Lee, Marie! Our boyfriends made money for us!" she calls to her older sisters.

"KANKERS!!" screams Ed as he scrambles to find a hiding place. He uses his head to drill into the ground and bury himself just before Lee and Marie enter the tent. Jimmy and Jonny quickly flee.

Lee approaches Eddy. "You just saved us a day's worth of hard work, shortstuff!" she says, giggling deviously.

"Buzz off, Kanker! Like I'd ever share anything with you." Eddy retaliates.

"Playin hardball, eh?" Lee snaps her fingers, and the sisters surround Eddy, who quickly looses his cool.

"Double-D, catch." Eddy yells and he throws the money jar to Double-D, who barely catches it. The Kankers turn their attention to him.

"Wait, can't we just make peace and negotiate?" asks a nervous Double-D.

"Get him!" shouts Marie.

Double-D runs out into the schoolyard screaming as the Kankers chase him. Sarah, Nazz, Kevin and Rolf quickly dive out of harm's way. Eddy catches up and parallels Double-D. Ed burrows through the ground behind them.

"Double-D, I'm open!" shouts Eddy. Double-D passes the jar to Eddy just before Marie tackles him to the ground. May tails Eddy throughout the schoolyard until Lee grabs Eddy from his side. Double-D escapes Marie's grasp and raises his arms to signal Eddy. Eddy throws the jar with his free hand, but Double-D is pulled underground by Ed before he can catch it.

"What the?..." Eddy utters before he too is pulled underground by Ed.

"Safe we are from the wicked harpies!" Ed says happily.

"Let go, stupid. Have you forgotten about the cash?" screams a frantic Eddy.

"THE CASH!!" Ed remembers. He explodes out of the ground with Double-D and Eddy in tow. But they are too late.

"Thanks, boys!" say the Kankers simultaneously as they enter back into the school, with the money jar in Lee's hands.

Eddy turns to Ed angrily. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, LUMPY!" he yells and proceeds to strangle Ed for his stupidity. "I worked too hard to allow a bunch of good-for-nothin girls from a trailer park to just swoop in and swipe 1.75 right out of my hands. They wont get away with this."

"Then perhaps you would like to lead us and reclaim it before they_ spend_ it." Double-D says, knowing of Eddy's intentions.

"That's right, sockhead. Now come on!" Eddy leads Ed and Double-D into the school as the bell rings.

* * *

In the hallway, Lee opens her locker with a key. May leaps onto the money jar she's holding.

"I say we spend the cash on new perfumes! Big Ed will _looooove_ it!" suggests an amorous May.

"I wish that were possible, peanut brain." Marie says to May. " All it'll probably get us is some fudge or somethin, eh Lee!"

"Fudge?" scoffs Lee as she throws off May. "Dont make me laugh, Marie! I'll make the final decision soon enough. And besides..." she shakes the jar in the air. "1.75 really ain't much if you think about it. Come on!"

The Eds watch safely from behind a corner as Lee puts the money jar into her locker. "Says her." says Eddy in response to Lee's last comment. Lee closes her locker with a key-lock. She puts the key in her pocket and walks off with the other Kankers. The Eds approach her locker.

"So close, yet so far away..." says Ed as he presses his face into the locker in sadness.

"Well, I guess lock-picking is out of the question." says Double-D.

"You guys saw Lee, right?" begins Eddy. "She has the key in her pocket. If we can just find a way to get the key without alerting them, we can save my money from their clutches!"

Ed turns to Double-D in confusion. "Is that easier said than done, Double-D?" he asks.

"I'm afraid so, Ed." answers Double-D. "Wait a minute..."

Double-D takes out his school schedule from his schoolbag and checks it. He smiles and turns to Eddy. "Eddy, today's an E- Day! That means we have swimming class! When it comes, all we gotta do is wait for the Kankers to jump into the pool. Then either you or Ed can sneak into the ladie's room and grab the key from Lee's pocket. It may be a little underhanded and... well, you know... but the point is they'll be off-guard and therefore it's 100 percent kiss-free!"

"I like that, Double-D!" Eddy agrees. "But since I'm head of this operation, I'm the one who makes the plans. Now go get a meterstick. Ed, do you still have that hook from season 2?"

"Indeed, Eddy!" Ed answers with a wide grin.

"Exellent!" Eddy says while twiddling his fingers like Mr. Burns.

* * *

In math class, the Eds, Kankers, Kevin, Jonny and Rolf sit at their seats. With the teacher gone for the time being, Eddy signals Double-D to take out a makeshift fishing rod made of a meterstick, a string, a reel, and Ed's hook from "In Like Ed."

"Eddy, I don't think this such a good idea." says Double-D.

"Lee's sitting just a few seats away." Eddy reassures. "You can do this."

"Oh, I can't watch." Ed curls up in his desk.

Double-D casts the line, trying to guide it into an unsuspecting Lee's pocket to fish out the key.

"A little closer, Double-D." directs Eddy. "Closer... Alright, now lower... Carefully... Try not to nick her hair..."

Double-D looks at Eddy. "You're breaking my concentration, Eddy."

"Oh, excuse me for being a distraction." Eddy snaps. Lee hears their bickering, and thus notices that the hook is right next to her. With Kevin sitting next to her and the Eds distracted, she takes Kevin's hat and puts it on the hook with an mischievious grin. When Double-D reels in the line, he sees Kevin's hooked hat.

"Oh, my..." Double-D utters. Within seconds, Kevin angrily approaches and reclaims his hat.

"You think you're so funny, don't cha Double-Dweeb?" he accuses Double-D. The Kankers giggle in amusement.

"Wait, let me ex-" before he can finish his sentence, Kevin stretches Double-D's hat over his whole body and ties it into a knot, trapping Double-D like a body bag. He walks back to his seat. "Dorks."

* * *

Later, The Kankers are walking down a hallway. Marie is checking her hair with a mirror, while May continues to bother Lee. "Oooh, I know! Let's spend it on lip-sticks and lip gloss!" May suggests. Lee knocks her away.

Further down the hallway, Eddy finishes up a trap by stretching a rope across the width of the corridor and tying the end to a ceiling vent, ready to catch whoever walks into it. Eddy hides behind a corner with a giggling Ed. "Just sit and watch, Ed! As soon as those meddling Kankers make contact with the rope, they'll be hung upside-down on a loop! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

Ed joins Eddy in his maniacal laughter. As they do so , the Kankers simply jump over the rope and continue on, ignoring their oblivious boyfriends. However, the trap _does _get someone, as indicated by the whiplash sound Eddy hears.

"YES, WE GOT EM!!!" Eddy yells victoriously. Ed checks. "Uh, Eddy..."

Eddy looks. Instead of the Kankers, Jimmy was caught in the trap, hanging upside down by a noose on his ankles, his books dropped on the floor. Sarah stands nearby in shock.

"Sarah, help me before my head rushes!" Jimmy yells in panic. Sarah gets angry at Ed and Eddy, and Ed runs in fright.

Sarah rushes up to Eddy. "Eddy, get Jimmy down from there this instant!" she angrily demands.

Eddy thinks of an idea. "Pay me 25 cents, and we'll get him down!" he smirks. Enraged, Sarah tackles him to the ground and beats him up.

* * *

Eventually, swimming class comes and the kids head to the pool. Ed doggy-paddles around, while Rolf dives off the diving board in the background. Eddy and Double-D sit in the corner of the pool, with Eddy showing bruises and a blackeye from Sarah.

"Doggy paddle! Doggy paddle! Doggy paddle! Doggy paddle!" Ed merrily exclaims as he swims. Then he hears the Kankers coming, freezing in his tracks. The Kankers burst out from the ladie's locker room, wearing their swimsuits.

"Last one in's a rotten egg!" says Marie as she dashes to the pool and dives in first, followed by Lee and (lastly and predictably) May. The sisters swim underwater, grabbing Rolf from beneath. "THE OTTERS ATTACK!!!" Rolf yelps before the Kankers sink him. Eddy turns to Double-D.

"Alright, Double-D." Eddy says, pointing Double-D's face to the ladie's locker room. "Go get the key."

"Why me?" Double-D asks.

"It was _your_ idea." Eddy answers. "Now go for it while the Kankers are busy playing Shark Attack."

"Oh alright..." Double-D grumbles as he jumps out of the pool. He puts on a wig and bikini top to disguise himself as a girl. He enters the ladie's room and checks through the lockers looking for Lee's pants, but to no avail. "Drats." he says and goes to check the other side of the room. He stops and freezes when he sees Nazz half-changed, wearing her purple pants and bikini top. He sweats as Nazz greets him, thinking he's a girl.

"Hey, it looks like you jumped into the pool already! Hows' the water?" she asks, mistaking Double-D's sweat for poolwater.

"W-Well... Why, yes I have!" Double-D answers while backing away. "The water's finely chlorinated and-" Double-D slips on a bar of soap on the floor, causing him to flip over on the floor and his wig falls off. Nazz stares in shock...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! DOUBLE-D, HAVE YOU ANY SHAME!!!?"

From the pool, everyone hears Nazz screaming at Double-D... "GET OVER HERE!!!" Nazz storms out of the locker room, carrying a flailing Double-D in her arms.

"NAZZ I'M SORRY!!!' Double-D frantically apologizes. "PLEASE!!! HAVE MERCY!!!" Nazz winds up and throws Double-D straight across the pool and into the opposite wall, with his head plowed right into it.

"Creep." Nazz mutters before going back into the locker room. Eddy holds a laugh. Marie stares at her boyfriend, shocked by what he did. Lee puts a finger on her chin. "Hmmmm... somethin fishy is goin on."

Ed and Eddy pull Double-D's head from the wall. "Yo brainiac, can you hear me?" Eddy asks, and Double-D bobs his spiraling head. "Good! Now listen up boys, the day's almost over. We only got one shot left, so we gotta think of somethin fast."

"Well I do have one more trick up my sleeve, but only if Ed agrees to it." Double-D says.

* * *

The school bell rings to mark the end of the day, and all of the cul-de-sac kids race off to their homes. At a street corner, Double-D and Eddy fit Ed with padded armor made of cardboard, cushions, and a football helmet.

"This armor will protect you from any harm the Kankers may try to inflict on you, Ed!" Double-D explains.

"Why do I feel like a decoy, guys?" asks Ed. "Because you are one!" Eddy answers.

"Here they come, guys." Double-D warns of the Kankers' approach. "Ed, remember the lines I gave you."

"Yessir!" Ed confirms as Double-D and Eddy jump into a bush. The Kankers stop in front of Ed.

"Um, hello ladies! Uhhh-" Ed takes out the script Double-D gave him and reads it aloud. "Uh, how are you doing today?"

"Oh, I'm lovin today!" answers an excited May, who jumps into Ed's arms. "Because we got money, and I was thinking of spending it on hair gel, _so I can shape mine into a__ most_ _exquisite style for you_!....Hee, hee!!" Ed begins to sweat.

While Ed distracts the Kankers, Eddy and Double-D quietly lift the bush to conceal themselves as they tiptoe past Lee and Marie. But the girls see their feet moving the bush, bob their heads at each other, and tag along with May on Ed. They jump onto Ed, and he leans back under their combined weight. Despite this, Ed continues to read the script whilst in a panic. "Um, I was wondering if you wanted a great big hug!..."

Ed traps the sisters in a hug. "A hug? What about kisses!" Say the Kankers as they take off Ed's helmet. Ed screams, and Eddy leaps out of the bush to snag the key from Lee's pocket.

But Lee grabs his wrist...

"Aha! I knew this was all a ruse." Marie says as Ed drops her and her sisters in fright.

"You boys were tryna get my key the whole time, weren't you?" asks Lee.

"Yeah!" Eddy angrily answers. "Now give us our money back!"

Lee smiles. "Well jeez, all you had to do was ask!" She takes the key from her pocket and dangles it in front of Eddy.

"YES!!!" Eddy tries to grab it, but Lee lifts it higher. "Marie!" She tosses the key to Marie. Eddy rushes to her.

"May!" Marie tosses it to May. They toss it back and forth as Eddy's frustration grows, laughing as they do so. "Alright that's enough girls! Ha, ha!" Lee says as she throws the key into Double-D's tooth gap. The Kankers leave.

"Finally, the key is ours!" Eddy exclaims. He takes it from Double-D's teeth and holds it up towards the sky for shine and dramatic effect. He dashes back to the school, kicks the doors open, dashes to Lee's locker, and unlocks it. "Come to Papa!!!" He opens it...

... Only to find that his money is already gone. The victory music abruptly stops, and Eddy drops to his knees in defeat.

* * *

The Eds walk down the lane en route to their houses, without any money.

"I can't believe it, guys. We came so close, and then we got tricked by those stupid Kankers." Eddy complains. "Why didn't I see that coming?"

"Because you're incredibly gullible when it comes to money matters." Double-D answers in his usual tone.

Ed grabs them. "ED!!!" Eddy yells.

"LOOK!!!" Ed points to a bunch of jawbreakers just 50 feet away. "JAWBREAKERS!!!" The Eds excitedly run toward the jawbreakers, unknowingly crossing a rope just before they make it. The rope whips around their feet, trips them face-first, and slings them upwards. They helplessly hang upside-down from a tree.

"What's going on?" Double-D panics, holding his hat to keep it on. The Kankers hop in from behind the fence.

"I should've known..." says Eddy.

"We figured you boys like jawbreakers, so we decided to buy some!" Lee explains.

"And lure you into a trap!" Marie finishes.

The Kankers apply their lipstick as they approach the screaming Eds.

**THE END!!!**


End file.
